4-digit Dow (<9999) imminent?!...

... Sure looks like it. - Especially since a ~70% decline here would be nothing more than just a garden variety return to the historic mean.

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Note;
Last week the Wilshire5000 / U.S. GDP has hit 2.75 (275%).
The norm (not the low!) being 0.78 (78%).

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...
"Making money in the stock market was now the easiest thing in the world. It was only necessary to buy ‘good’ stocks, regardless of price, and then to let nature take her upward course. The results of such a doctrine could not fail to be tragic.” - Graham & Dodd, 1934

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The S&P 500 lagged Treasury bills during the following periods in modern history;

• August 1929 - May 1947 (18 years)

• November 1961 - October 1982 (21 years)

• March 2000 - April 2013 (13 years)

That is 52 years out of an 84 year span. - And that is what happens at valuation extremes, as is the case currently.

As for places to hide... "The only thing that increases during a market crash is: Correlation."

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The DJAI / Gold Ratio